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Category Archives: Funny

If God Created….

THIS STOPS ME FROM COMITTING SUICIDE BECAUSE…….This is so true. Shnook, Shnook

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3 Comments

Posted by on May 16, 2011 in Funny

 

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Up-and-coming Stand Up

THIS STOPS ME FROM COMITTING SUICIDE BECAUSE…….People in suits can be funny too

This kid’s gonna be good:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JP5k4n6Wnc4&feature=relmfu

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1 Comment

Posted by on May 2, 2011 in Funny, Politics

 

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Kids Say The Funniest Things

THIS STOPS ME FROM COMITTING SUICIDE BECAUSE…….as Oscar Wilde says ‘we get more stupid as we get older’

[Guest writer: Pep]

hi kids

Since Michael Barrymore left the world of show business there has been something missing in everyone’s lives. Kids say the funniest things. Fortunately I have the next best thing: actual quotes from actual kids in actual classrooms. I hope they are as funny written down as they were when overheard.

“How do you cut a tomato?”

“Mangina! Mangina!”

“Miss, what’s masturbation?”

“I’m giving up religious views for lent”

“Teleport, teleport, teleporting fat guy” (sung)

“If I get a nose job will my kids have my old nose or my new nose?”

“Toupee machines? Do they even do them anymore?”

“FRIDAY, FRIDAY, GOTTA GET DOWN ON FRIDAY” (sung by class)

“Slap the fatty! Just do it, kid!”

“”When I was asleep and sleep-walking I went into my mum’s room and weed on her”

“hypotenu…hypote…potty training!”

“It’s all fun and games until someone gets a yeast infection”

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5 Comments

Posted by on April 1, 2011 in Funny, Quotes, Random

 

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The Bro Code Extracts by Barney Stinson

This prevents me from comitting suicide because…….cos when I feel down I just make myself feel awesome instead.

Some of the cool articles from the legend…..wait it for it…..dary book:

Article 1: Bros before Hos
Article 15: A Bro never dances with his hands above his head
Article 34: A Bro cannot make eye contact in a devil’s threeway
Article 44: A Bro never applies sunscreen to another Bro
Article 69: Duh.
Article 72: A bro never spell-checks
Article 93: Bros don’t speak French to one another
Article 118: When a Bro is with his Bros, he is not a vegetarian

Vintage

http://www.cbs.com/primetime/how_i_met_your_mother/community/barney_blog/index.php

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2 Comments

Posted by on March 15, 2011 in Funny

 

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World’s Funniest Joke (Courtesy of Me)

THIS STOPS ME FROM COMITTING SUICIDE BECAUSE…….It’s rindokulusly hilarious!

Me: Knock Knock

Victim 1: Who’s there?

Me: I needap

Victim1: I needapwho?


Get it?

History: Created by yours truly in 2006

Variations: Mymommaneedap, Mysisterneedap

Delivery:

  • Say with confidence
  • Timing
  • Emphasise the ‘p’

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Like This!

 
4 Comments

Posted by on February 25, 2011 in Funny

 

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