THIS STOPS ME FROM COMITTING SUICIDE BECAUSE…….This is so true. Shnook, Shnook
This kid’s gonna be good:
[Guest writer: Pep]
Since Michael Barrymore left the world of show business there has been something missing in everyone’s lives. Kids say the funniest things. Fortunately I have the next best thing: actual quotes from actual kids in actual classrooms. I hope they are as funny written down as they were when overheard.
“How do you cut a tomato?”
“Miss, what’s masturbation?”
“I’m giving up religious views for lent”
“Teleport, teleport, teleporting fat guy” (sung)
“If I get a nose job will my kids have my old nose or my new nose?”
“Toupee machines? Do they even do them anymore?”
“FRIDAY, FRIDAY, GOTTA GET DOWN ON FRIDAY” (sung by class)
“Slap the fatty! Just do it, kid!”
“”When I was asleep and sleep-walking I went into my mum’s room and weed on her”
“It’s all fun and games until someone gets a yeast infection”
Some of the cool articles from the legend…..wait it for it…..dary book:
Article 1: Bros before Hos
Article 15: A Bro never dances with his hands above his head
Article 34: A Bro cannot make eye contact in a devil’s threeway
Article 44: A Bro never applies sunscreen to another Bro
Article 69: Duh.
Article 72: A bro never spell-checks
Article 93: Bros don’t speak French to one another
Article 118: When a Bro is with his Bros, he is not a vegetarian
Me: Knock Knock
Victim 1: Who’s there?
Me: I needap
Victim1: I needapwho?
History: Created by yours truly in 2006
Variations: Mymommaneedap, Mysisterneedap